On The Outside Looking Inside!


I have been reading Romans all week, and I found it very hard to understand, so from time to time, I grabbed my Parallel to try and discern and learn. For over a year now I have struggled with many issues about church in itself. Not with God, not with my pastor, with people. I have felt like I was on the outside looking in, never fully accepted. I have felt rejection, pain, hurt, loneliness, questioning, despair, and Love. How could I feel love from such harsh actions of others? Yet indeed I have grown in this last year to love my offendors.

Out of every single transitions, of hurt, pain, rejection, despair and questioning, I prayed a lot, asking God for revalation of why I felt alone and rejected. It is only through God that I learned hurt people truly hurt people. That your reaction is a sign of your maturity and your walk. There were some offenses I really had to reach deep and find forgiveness, which allowed me to love, despite what I had been through. I learned this iscalled “Church Hurt” It only came to me this morning, that I was being taught something, which I will carry with me the rest of my life, and I hope with God’s blessing I share it equally with you.

In Romans, the Jews rejected the Messiah. In their act of rebellion, many were cast out but a remnant few were saved and stayed rooted to the olive tree. This act of rebellion opened the door for the gentiles, to be saved and to be grafted to the root of the olive tree.

Are the Jews finished? No. When they left, the door was still open. God’s chosen ones were the ones that let God pursue his interest in them. When the Jews choose to choose their own self-interest, they failed. Moses and Isaiah both commented on this in Romans 10 and 11. Would the Jews be cut off, are they finished? The answer is an infinite “NO”. When the Jews started their rebellion, and rejected the Messiah, and ran, leaving the door wide open, praise God it did not shut, for it ushered in the gentiles and their chance at salvation. Understand Israel is still the chosen children of God. It is by God Grace that we can be saved. Word of Faith is what welcomes God, so he can go to work and set things right for us. When we say Jesus is Master or Jesus is Lord, we are simply calling out to God, trusting him to do a work in us. Scripture says we will not regret nor be ashamed. When you call out to God, you are not doing anything, you are simply trusting God.

The door is still wide open for the gentile, which leaves the door open for the Jews to come back inside. If the initial first wrong doing of the Jews opened the door for the gentiles, imagine what will happen when they return and go back through the door, it will set off an unimaginable homecoming.

The Jews have been on the outside looking in for a long time, all the Jews have to do is walk back through the door, and God is waiting. In one way or another God lets us experience what it means to be on the outside, so that he can personally hold the door and welcome us back in to his fold.

It personally has been a long year for me, and everything I am sharing with you today, lined up with scripture. Everything I experienced was for a reason, the rejection, pain, hurt, loneliness, questioning, despair, and Love. It was so that I would know what it was like to be on the outside looking in, and when the time came, I could run through those doors and know what an awesome homecoming God has in store.  Now that you and I have felt what it is like to be on the outside, lets turn and go walk through the door together. The door is open, run with all your might, God is waiting, and the homecoming is incredible. God’s wisdom is deep, and I will not probably fully understand all this last year trials, I am just happy, smiling and going home, walking through the door. We will no longer be on the outside looking in, we will be inside holding out our hands to bring others in to the fold. See you inside ! Thank you Jesus, for the door was open!

19 thoughts on “On The Outside Looking Inside!

  1. I can feel you. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? I read a story related to this. I’ll share it when I see it. Anyway, it’s all about focusing on the love Jesus has for us. If we focus on the negative things happening around us we will never know the beautiful journey with God.

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  2. Sometimes it’s hard to keep our eyes on Jesus through the hurt, trials, and brokenness, but keep our eyes on Him, we must! We will see His face one day and hear Him say well-done, if we hang on. We all face dark days, but thank God for the joyful days! 🙌 We are going to make it!

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  3. I could’ve said it better my sister. What can hurt you can actually make you stronger and my friend, after all you and I have been through, did exactly just that, made us stronger and to Love regardless of the hardship. I am walking along side with you, holding your hand. Let’s Do This!

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  4. Hi Vivian, Through my own experience, I can honestly tell you the Homecoming is joyful! After everything I experienced, it developed a deep sensitivity in me, that allows me to reach out to others. I went back through the doors, not through my mite , but through Jesus mite, he took my weakness and pain and made me strong, my testing , taught me how to prepare myself with the full Armour of God, to respond with kindness instead of being vengeful. When you enter in , keep your eyes on Jesus, Jesus is your focus, then you need to be feed, soak in that word like a wet sponge, and walk out dripping in Living Water, the living water must flow through us, not become stagnant. I learned there is a church within the church and that is your goal as you mature in your walk with Jesus. Sadly there will be people who hurt us from all walks of life, in or out of church, the offense bears no weight, it is how you respond to the offense that all eyes are watching. (Spiritually Speaking) Carry the offense to God, let go, and give him room to fight your battle and work it all out for your good! Don’t let mean people keep you from what God called you to , when he adopted you into the kingdom. The devil will use people to tear you away! Read Ephesians! I hope this helps and blesses you, that I have not spoken out of turn. Go Home to God’s House, God is waiting and he Loves you more than you know, because you are brokenhearted , God has been by your side all this time concerned, whooing you back! Blessings!

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    1. Thank you for your message. I have been unable to attend church due to my brain injury. That being said, my hurts are from the church’s not reaching out but instead have ignored me. I have tried to attend but my body goes down from the over stimulation and pain. Fatigue sets in and I need days to recover. So, my hurt is because I have felt the reality of tbi, people don’t understand, instead they judge. I haven’t strayed from church- my desire is to be there, but in the healing process, I have had to stay home out of necessity. I plan on trying again soon. God has helped me to overcome the indifference, lack of support etc. But, the main reason for the hurt and pain is how no one has even asked me how I am. I sent two ladies messages and links to my blog so they could better understand to which I got zero response. I’m not angry or bitter anymore, God has shown me through His word how to respond in a godly manner but I still feel sad. This isn’t just the church, its friends and family too. I’ve written my heart out in a blog, I probably should post it.

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      1. Writing helps us to heal, I have felt all those things you mention. people can be judgemental, and unless they walk in your shoes they do not know your story. I am a Breast Cancer Survivor, unemployed, live in pain everyday from 5 year meds, Talk to your Pastor, tell him everything, and let him pray for you and help you in the healing process, As a child of God it is not good to be isolated from fellow Christians. Does your church do livestreaming?

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        1. Oh no!!😢 My friend is a breast cancer survivor too now she is going through more devastation….I’m so sorry. I see a strength in your beautiful face, and I am thankful God is holding you. 💕 Yes, very judgemental. I’ve thought of emailing the pastor in charge but we are a new church plant, so without our own pastor. My husband is treasurer. I have emailed the overseer before but he is busy. Everyone is too busy. I may try again but I’m afraid of his response being like the others.

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  5. Been wrestling with the same.💔 Thank you for this. I’ll be posting on this issue soon as well. Titled “The reality of tbi”. Rejection hurts but He was rejected first. Much love. Xoxo

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