All my life, I have been told to shut up, I can still hear the mean negative voices of people from my past as I reflected on my life today listening to the echoes of yesteryear, of the many voices who tried to shut me up, who told me to shut up, who tried to kill my spirit, weaken my confidence and steal my self-worth. People’s voices telling me I was dumb, stupid, ignorant, foolish, ugly, clumsy, fat, crazy, liar, thief, and no good.
The last few years have been very emotionally trying as the people’s voices took me down a long dark road, where I began to believe that everyone believed what the voices of the people around me were saying with all their false accusations. I cared too much about opinions of those I knew and those of strangers.
Then as I reflected on all the events that lead up to today, I had an “AH HA” moment.
I have been quiet when people’s voices falsely accused me, I have been quiet, when I was screamed at, or cursed, I have been quiet when I was spiritually attacked, I have been quiet when, my world fell apart, and I was alone. I have been so quiet, that it felt like I was literally choking with all the hands of the people’s voices around my neck trying to squeeze my throat, to prevent my voice from becoming heard.
I have been quiet to all people’s voices except for one special voice. That special voice is God.
I told God all about my suffering with the other voices, and how their words hurt me, leaving me wounded, down to the core of my soul. I told God about my pain, and how that pain, left me numb, feeling just worthless.
I am only human. I make mistakes every day. I try to respect boundaries. There will be people who will not like what I have to say, because it is to close for comfort, and then there will be people who will enjoy what I have to say because it blesses them.
I came to the conclusion that God gave me this voice, and he gave it to me for a reason. I have been silent for too long. Now is the time for my voice to awaken.
I want you to know my voice is alive, it will speak, and it will speak freely. All the years I was silent, I was growing in God. God was preparing me for the day when those other voices would not matter to me anymore, and all I could hear would be his sweet voice, and I would graduate into a higher blessing and calling, to take my mouth, the voice given to me, to glorify God!
So I shout at the top of my lungs, with a voice, that will be heard, to glorify, my Lord and Savior, to bless him, to exalt him, to sing to him, to worship him, because God is more than worthy, he is worthy to be praised, to be loved, to be lifted on high, with a voice once called worthless, but never again.. I raise my voice to Glorify my king, my savior, my redeemer, my healer, my provider, the lover of my soul. Who loves a wretch like me, and died so I could live. Yes, my King is worthy, and I will praise him always, with a voice of love. Romans 15:6.