Who can I change, only myself.
Striving daily to improve. It doesn’t always mean there is success. Yet there is no failure, when we acknowledge and try to overcome.
Slowly learning how to diffuse trigger points. They are like best friends, some you can control , others you can’t, which can make us explode like a bomb. The season I’m in now, is working daily to unfuse those bombs of trigger points. Trigger points are created from abuse, pain and suffering.
I believe we all have trigger points. They come from these different stages of our lives. My trigger points are verbal abuse, screaming, not being heard, being talked over, condescending language directed at me or my love ones.
I can’t control others when they come at us with these behaviors, nor can I change their behavior or even make them stop. Yet I can change my behavior and how I respond or how I allow their behavior to affect me or my reaction in response to the trigger points being hurled toward me.
The most profound powerful lesson I learned is I don’t have to engage, react, defend, justify, explain or respond. My first response is to protect myself. I can simply walk away without saying a word. Then I pray about it before talking about it. (Hard for me when I’m hurt, I want to tell my bff), then I ask God to work it out. (I struggle here, not very patient) The point is I can only work on me, tno one ever told me I could walk away, I was conditioned to stay, it is very freeing knowing my feet can take me away, when I am shaking with hurt, pain , I can even run. I can choose to work on the relationship, or I can let it go. I don’t have to prove myself, God knows the truth. I am loved by God. I do not need the acceptance of people who continually hurt me, God accepted me and that is all I need. I am a work in progress and Gods grace is sufficient.
The great news is that when Jesus called us, he took us , and knew all our weakness!
God says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ (2 Corinthians 12:9). His grace is not only amazing, it is ‘sufficient’. I am so grateful, aren’t you?