Oh how she had tried to help him, the prayers, tears, faith, believing for the miracle, the day he would be free of his addiction to pain pills.
She remembered her mothers belly being large with child, and the day he was brought home, she felt such a connection to him because he was similar to her in that they shared the same coloring.
Along with her mom , she excitedly unwrapped that blanket, counting ten toes and ten fingers, and he gazed into her eyes and she knew she loved him , forever, her sweet blue eyed little brother.
Throughout childhood, she protected him the best she could, one day he fell, she was too far away, to catch him, he fell hitting his head in the corner of their concrete porch, blood everywhere, mom swooping him up , rushing off to the doctors. Stitches, permanent right eye damage , which lead to blindness.
Oh how the little girl cried, if only she had caught him……
Birthdays come and go, he is getting so much bigger, another baby is on the way.
Running, playing, Cowboy and Indian days, childlike joy and laughter all the way!
Courageous dares, she stayed home that day, brother jumping off dog house, over the mean dog, would he make it to the other side?
Screams and cry’s, holy mother who died, brother is hurt come quick….
Two Bones sticking out of his leg , blood , ambulance, surgery, cast for few years
Leg permanently damaged, walks with a limp
Oh how the little girl cried, if only she had caught him……….
School years came, bullies at their game, she kept him safe, then away to older kids school, he had to go alone, and the bullies came…….
Marijuana, smoking joints was easier than being beat up by a stick
Oh how the little girl cried, if only she had caught him………..
She swore the drugs were a lie, don’t take , they will make you die!
Brother you are my best friend, I want you to have life!
Then came the lies, manipulation , stealing as if there was no sky
She remembers the day he almost died, falling two stories compacting his spine
Oh how freely they gave those pills, as if they were free for all to dine
She gave brother love, compassion empathy , money , car , cloths, food
Oh how the little girl cried, if only she had caught him…..
One day she said No, and all hell broke loose and began to unfold
She was crazy, a liar, no good, worthless piece of sh$t, no better than dirt
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!
Brother your words hurt deeply, some cannot even be put into print
Oh how her heart shattered into a million different splints, as those words became sticks
She barely remembers any good times, yet each time you walk in its like she took a direct hit.
Walking on eggshells, being told to forgive and forget, master manipulator turning all against her when all she tried to do was be there for you
Oh how the little girl cries, if she only caught him……..
Not understanding she couldn’t save him
Only one could do that, erase his pain , begin again
The little girl stopped crying, let her hands down
It wasn’t her job to catch him
yet to love him enough to walk away
she rebuked the feelings and thoughts of revenge
it just wasnt her way
she could still see him in the blanket, ten toes, ten fingers, red curly hair
oh how she loves him to this day, a baby boy, grown into a man
trusting in the true master
to save the day because MERCY was the only way!